This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.
As we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
